It takes a lot of uumph to be a black woman! I just think about everything I experience, my fellow sisters experiences, and the common thread linking it all is that unspoken uumph! That #BlackGirlMagic.
Why are Black Women so magical? I know God made it that way for sure, but what are some of the ingredients that create the unique masterpiece called the black woman? I know what I'm made of, and it is myriad of ingredients;
I've been raped, married to a drug addict, physically abused, shot, used, stolen from, lied on, lied to, disrespected, cheated on, and left for dead.
Still. IM A QUEEN. UNAPOLOGETIC
I had the nerve leave California and go to the NAVY to be someone. I had no idea where that would lead but I was ready! I had the nerve to dance naked in front of men so I could provide for my family after getting out of the NAVY, and after seeing my husband, my marriage, and my life for what it really was.
No worries. I'm STILL blessed.
With no rope in sight or any examples, I STILL created the life I wanted.
Black women possess a "This ain't what you want" type of fearlessness. In that fearlessness, others can take refuge and feel secure. (Like our children). Not only do they feel secure, but they learn it themselves and become a beacon in the family. It is a God given strength, knowing God himself is the only thing to fear.
My mother had a reputation for not playing the RADIO when it came to her children. The school, even grown neighborhood men would think twice about messing with Denise's children. That clearly was passed down by nature and nurture because even after facing death I still have no fear.
Every black woman's heart's desire is to love and be loved equally. She wants to be a wife, mother, friend, and community member. She longs to be part of a healthy ecosystem. Her actions are governed by these underlying tones to her character making her so graceful and beautiful. Love is life, and having to be resilient, confident, determined, and fearless just to get to hearts desires is pretty magical.
The combination of the ingredients, the severity of the circumstances, the DNA passed down, and the mighty smile of God created
Education comes in so many forms besides school. In fact, there is a huge difference between education and knowledge. Dropping out of college was the first semester of my hands on "School of Life University" education. I began to see how the world truly worked and it was a sink or swim kind of situation. Survival of the fittest would come in mind remembering what I learned of Charles Darwin and the Galapagos Islands. My biology teacher was an Indian lady who was so passionate about science it rubbed off on me a bit. It stuck with me. It was the basis for my knowledge and understanding of quantum physics and metaphysics.
My mom had a friend that I really looked up to. She was the regional manager of Macy's, and had it going on to me. As a child, there weren't many role models or "boss chicks" to model behind, but she was one of them. She always had her hair done, she was married to a African American history buff so their house was pro black and seemed powerful with the artifacts and statues they had.
Right when I got old enough and was on my own, I started hearing rumors about her on drugs.
I didn't want to believe it and it made me upset because my image of her was shattering. Sure enough, she was doing drugs. And not only doing drugs, but fell all the way off and was doing unspeakable things. That taught me to never be like her.
Never be someone that little girls look up to and then fall off after kids are grown! No way!!
I still have an anger toward her for letting me down. I never ever want any young girl who looks up to me to feel the way I do about me as I do about her.
I was a dancer. A stripper for money. I interacted with thousands of people. I learned something from all of them. They were investment brokers, insurance agents, soldiers, athletes, celebrities, terrorist, drug dealers, single mothers, daughters, wives, prostitutes, drug addicts.
My interaction was intimate enough to learn what it took to be each one of them. What factors created these circumstances and people. Each and everyone of them taught me something extremely valuable, and I know they've all learned something from me as well.
I've used and continue to use and grow my knowledge of interaction with individuals in my real estate business, when I speak to audiences, raise my children, helping others, and plan my future.
That's how the universe is set up. It is a constant learning ground, a school for the soul. If you are in someone's presence for a few seconds and make eye contact, there is an opportunity for a teaching moment.
If you're alive, you're armed with a wealth of knowledge that can work for your benefit. Experience and observations of others experiences help shape our thoughts and ultimately our actions and governs our behavior.
When I think back on the many trials and tribulations I endured, I realize that I developed a coping mechanism, or a way to not give any validity to a pity party for any of the things that were happening to me. I affectionately describe that as "feathers on my back" so the things roll right off.
I'm human! Today I have this hard exterior, which is armour to protect the sensitive little girl that's inside me.
You see, I was THEE MOST SENSITIVE GIRL in the WORLD! I still am, it's just packaged differently. I would cry if someone I loved looked at me wrong, talked about my shirt, or was mean to me. The pain I felt was unbearable, yet I was ridiculed because "that was nothing to cry about". Nicknamed "crybaby," Feathers started growing. I remember my mom bragging that she just has to look or yell at me to cry, she didn't have to whoop me. Even though she did!
Fast forward to getting in a relationship where my husband was an abuser and a womanizer. How do you still live, raise kids, and fight your husband, annnd have a pity party? Or dance in a strip club supporting the entire family because your husband won't work? Or while a dancer, have a run in with FBI, Secret Service, and DEA, all within a year? Or what about being shot, and stood over, with the gunman intending to kill you?
Surely the happy life didn't find me, I created it. The life of struggle and despair found me. I learned how to reject it and make choices toward the life I wanted to live. I chose God. I chose life. I chose happiness. I chose freedom. I chose me. I'm still choosing me and happiness which is why who you see today doesn't resemble the woman I used to be. I've been through so much in THIS LIFE, it feels like I have lived several lives this lifetime. I am sure God has everything to do with my strength and tenacity. The woman you see today has been transformed. By life and choices. #HowRebelRobbWasBorn