I have seen so many people despair and believe that their life can not get any better than it is. All the while, complaining to their friends who seem to have their stuff together, fishing for the energy needed to make it through the day, similar to a drug addict needing one more hit.
There are a couple of things happening here. The friend who seems to have their stuff together has their mind on the right path. There may be all sorts of things going on in their lives that they are not giving validity to, in which it "seems" all is well.
The friend who is in despair, whose mind and energy are depleted, leeches on, and creates a stagnation for both.
In 2006, I was in a rough place, which I wrote all about in my book. I wrote a letter to myself at the time, and I ENVISIONED MYSELF IN A BETTER PLACE. I would like to share this with you all because it truly shows the place I was in, and my mental determination to not be there for long. When I wrote this letter, I definitely had no plans of revealing this to ANYONE let alone the entire world! But GOD! What I went through was for me to share! I have dealt with the worldly "snickers and whispers", and no weapon formed against me shall prosper!! You better read my book if you don't believe me!
"LETTER TO MYSELF- HANDWRITTEN 2006"
"Just write it down. I can not sleep! There are VARIOUS REASONS! To name them all would be even more nerve racking because I have to re-think about each situation. All I know is that I am at my wits end almost, and I could snap, literally, soon! I know that my sanity wont let me snap, but my insanity is growing ever so smoothly. Everyday, dumb MFERS do stupid S**T and I just can't deal with it anymore. What will getting emotional accomplish? NOTHING! What will going off the hook accomplish? NOTHING! So I have to try real real hard just to be responsible for my actions because I feel like Michele and the rage! I can't even begin to acquire the ultimate goals until I secure the necessary ones. I really want to just give up sometimes, and invert inside and cry and leave the situation. I never do, but I feel that way. I can't continue to live this way. I can't continue to live like this. My brain, heart, and mind all are not healthy in my current environment. I DO NOT LIKE LIVING IN MEMPHIS and especially in a one bedroom apartment. I can not wait until the time when these times will only be memories. And I know those days are coming soon. I just need to write down what I feel and do not verbalize it to anyone. My actions need to be more guarded and private. My intentions as well. I have sort of a plan to make my situation better, and in the meantime I will be thinking of other things to do. Because I'm tired of a lot of S**T and it will be changed in the very near future, and that is a FACT! Just as these words are written on this page. I will be done with this BullS**T soon!
My heart, mind, body and soul can release and feel free and wanted. My Karmic Debt has been paid up, and I know that soon, I will get the life I wish for and deserve. Love all around me and no negativity. Peace and love and no stress or issues. Pure love. That is what I want forever. I know that is not a lot to ask for especially all I've been through.
Just not healthy right now."
This was written in 2006!! It's only 2014! If you've read my book, you will see that I did nothing but COME UP since MEMPHIS!
Maybe I envisioned something different and didn't waiver. Maybe I created the life I want with the determination to not struggle. God helps those that help themselves. I was not trying to give myself a pity party in my letter to myself. And it was to MYSELF! I didn't take anyones energy even though my situation was bad. I looked within, and asked for different. My life is a "LIVING TESTIMONY"!
Be blessed people, and please Turn On The Lights!