I was just reading my last book about my dad last night, and I was reminded, and then started remembering what my last Thanksgiving was like on that side of the world. I am currently living in Abidjan, Ivory Coast, and this is my 2nd year here for this holiday, that really isn’t a holiday.
In Puerto Rico, the backdrop was palm trees and beaches, sunny weather and bikinis, pretty much all year round. 2019 Thanksgiving was somber and sad. My dad was literally dying of a brain tumor, it was hot outside, and nobody was really in the mood. We did have Mac and cheese and I made a couple sweet potato pies for my babies.
For 13 years straight, Atlanta, Ga was the background. Complete with the leaves changing color, brisk cold air, pumpkin decor and hats and mittens, this was the classic scene of the holiday.
I don’t like the holiday anymore. I’m well aware of the truth about it, but while I was in Atlanta, it became something more to me, because every year my dad would come to my house for thanksgiving. His presence at that time every year was always welcomed, and he was the life of the party. He could cook like no other, and loved his family, especially his grand daughters. Toward the end of his life, the quality of our thanksgiving’s declined, and for the past couple of years I’ve not been in America to try it again.
I will always love the food, no matter what day it is, but it will never be the same for me. Maybe I’ll find the joy in it again when I become a grandmother myself. It’s just a reminder of him, and how much I miss his presence. I know he’s always watching over us, and keeping us safe. I’ll forever miss and love my daddy. 💙💙💙
I am the type of "strong woman" that has been formed through the fire of life. I have been circumstantially thrusted into this role, as a single black woman in America, with daughters, and no strong male figures in my life. My ex husband's most noteworthy contribution to my life was his sperm. My dad was an excellent man, however, he was non- confrontational, and avoided things as best he could. My brothers had shown me early in life that I truly could not depend on them either. So what's a girl to do in this circumstantial situation?
My natural instinct is permanently set on survival. Like the dial is stuck. My essential self is a super sensitive soul, very emotional and pure. Due to the sensitive nature of my essence, I've created a buffer system to protect my inner child.
Although I am extremely proud of my accomplishments, I realize that the moves that I've made in life have separated me from the average. I don't mind being extraordinary, however, I do mind how people misinterpret "strength" as masculinity, and determine that "strong women" need less than "normal women".
I am a woman in every sense of the word. My deep desire is to be submissive to the right man. I imagine that there is one who truly sees ME, not just my deeds, and is not intimidated. He's willing to study me; to truly understand me wholeheartedly, and to love me unconditionally.
To me, divinely feminine is an essence of God. It is an intricate relationship with righteousness. It is a willingness to rebel against logic and social standards under the authority and guidance of wisdom, unapologetically. It's "Big Mama Energy". Wisdom is a divinely feminine energy. It must be courted and earned.
Being called a strong woman is not truly a compliment. It is a restraining box that us women who have been labeled, have to constantly redefine. It is a subconscious collective thoughtform that "strong women" are not like "normal women". We have to remind others that we are WOMEN, that we are the vessels of life, and although we know how to provide certain things, we too need to feel safe and protected. We need to be nurtured, we need to be allowed to express our emotions, and be loved for who we are. When a woman is loved for who she is, she is 10 times better. When she is loved correctly, she will help her mate and all around her thrive.
If you know a woman who fits the "strong woman" category, let her know that you're there for her. Let her know it's ok not to be strong all the time, and that you're there to help her dismantle that buffer system that hides and protects her heart. She will be eternally grateful that you see her.
With love and light,
I came outside on my balcony yesterday morning, with the intention to create a blog post, but I had no idea on the subject. ( I love to sit outside in the early mornings to write) I decided to get my coffee, and just let the inspiration come to me. For a good while, the page stayed blank, and I'm looking at it, and it's looking at me, and nothing is coming. I started scrolling on twitter, which has become one of my go to places for current events, and big laughs, when shortly after, I got a DM on Instagram.
A couple of days ago, I posted a throwback on twitter of an interview I did in 2015 during Art Basel. I was booked to be a speaker at an event called Divinely Feminine, and also an interview about my 2 books that were published at the time. My second book had actually just been released the month before. I tagged the woman who booked me, as I was talking about her event.
The DM was from that woman, Miss Lisa Leggz, who I have known since atleast 2006. We modeled together back in the day, and were both published. Lisa is a gorgeous Jamaican woman, statuesque and powerful. We've always had a mutual respect for one another, especially spiritually.
She told me that the post I had tagged her in was timely, as she had just received the contract for the new building that she is planning to do her event, ART OF HEALING in, for Art Basel, and that the event she booked me for was her reminder of why she started. The DM started off as her asking for my advice, and after a few messages back and forth, I asked her could she talk, so we could really get to it.
She said yes, and we did a video call for almost 3 hours! It's clear to me now that I was not supposed to be writing that morning! I was supposed to be listening and being a friend. I was supposed to be reciprocating energy with her, and allowing her to reveal her true self and feelings. She is very connected spiritually, and has been guarded recently due to energy vultures. She knows me on a deeper level than most, as she was there during my glow up, and knows the essential me. We know the essential each other!
She allowed me to ask the Akashic Records something in confirmation of her energy center, and the revelation was accurate and well received.
It opened us up to discuss collaborating at this time in our lives, as we were young in our 20's when we met, and now as grown women, we are as blessed with wisdom and we are ready. Seasoned, experienced, humbled, and much more wise, it makes me realize that sometimes you meet people for future possibilities. I'm looking forward to the greatness that is realized from our reconnection.